Get your Zombie shootin' guns!

[Rologton]

I'm sure you guys have all heard of the Florida zombie attacks that have been in the news lately. So what do you guys think? Real or fake? Incoming zombie appocalypse or hoax?

For me: hoax. From the linked report alone (being the initial report) there's a bunch of things that point towards it.

For one, the "footage showing the event" doesn't show anything because it all happens under the bridge that's blocking the camera's view.

Next, there are no pictures of the guy's chewed up face. First of all, just looking at movie's recently, that wouldn't be too hard to fake at all, and much worse things have been show in the news.

Finally, I can't quite find where it is, but I read a report where they claimed that when they autopsied the "zombie" they found a virus in his brain that cause it to heat up and made him crave human flesh, and that it caused necrotizing fasciitis, which is a real disease that causes flesh to rot. This one just seems like they jumped the gun with it.

My guess: Some movie, video game, television show, or amusement park event is starting this hoax as a viral (lolz) marketing campaign.

My hopes: VALVe has started this as a viral marketing campaign to announce Left 4 Dead 3.

My deep seated hopes: The zombie apocalypse has begun, time to put my contingency plan into action!

[Prof_Schwartz]

Oh this story again? Sheesh. No zombies. He was on drugs or something, bath salts or hallucinogens, some crap. Got fucked up and chewed a homeless man's face off.

[Patrid]

Man eat's roommate's heart and part of his brains
http://www.castanet.net/news/World/7598 ... -and-heart

Jersey man stabs himself them throws skin and intestines (!) at police
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/30/ne ... g-himself/

All in recent news

There's a couple more, but I forgot what the links were. It's kinda sad when one can read the news and see the word "cannibal", then think... which one were they talking about again?

[Smeemo]

Remember, kids: stick to the real cocaine.

[Failhorse]

Pot is a gateway drug. It could lead to doing things far worse. Stick to heroin.

[Vivi Hill]

It's the news associating unrelated stories for sensationalism's sake. I'm not worried (I'm holed up in Austria for the rest of the month just in case, though).