Twan's Medic Guide

[youngandaspire]

Let me start by saying that yes, I am the #1 medic on CSn, and no I don't sign autographs. Now that that's out of the way, I want to give everyone a few tips on getting healed by a medic.

1. Don't take that health pack:
The more a medic heals the faster we get uber charge (or kritz) -- so look around. Is there a medic? Good, let them heal you, it gives the medic confidence that this isn't your first time playing and they will probably heal you again. This is true 99% of the time. However if a large group of enemies suddenly shows up and you are low life and your medic isn't, please take the health. Otherwise, NO TOUCHY.

2. Medics can't rocket/grenade jump
Yet. So, if a medic is helping you out, return the favor. Don't suddenly rocket jump leaving your medic stranded unless it is absolutely critical to winning or you plan on returning very soon. Medics are your friend and will make you seem less nubby, so protect them and they will protect you.

3. I just got Ubered! Now what?
Some pyro's going to try to air blast us apart and a spy is probably going to wait until the uber is gone to backstab me, ruining your chances of getting out alive. Medics should try to stand in a corner (when possible) and/or avoid all pyros and spies/nefs, so get too far and you will both die. Focus on 1) Killing key sentries 2) Protecting your lovely medic 3) Escape plan.

4. You Suck
Sorry brosif, you suck, I'm not going to pocket you. I'll probably heal you if you are close to death or on fire but that's as far as this relationship goes so stop spamming E, get some more kills and I'll think about it.

5. You're not Klingon
And this ain't a good day to die, so don't think having a medic all of a sudden makes you invincible. Push forward until one of us starts to die and retreat to the nearest med pack. Constantly look back at your medic for flanking enemies and perform frequent spy checks. Some of the best players I know are good at this, but most people don't get it. There's a reason that I often don't heal people who have good stats, and it's because they don't give 2 poops about their medic, and the feeling is mutual.

6. Your Medic is Fully Charged
Don't just jump into the lion's den unprepared. Find a good target, something reasonable for your skill level and useful for winning. Make sure you've got enough ammo loaded then let your medic know (voice chat and say "now", but more seasoned medics (like yours truly) understand that when you press "E" when I am charged, it means you are ready).

7. My teammates are uber and on the point/cart!
Guess what that makes you? Cannon fodder. So jump on that point because there probably won't be a safer or more advantageous time to help your team win (assuming there aren't 1,000,000 sentries/pyros protecting the it).

8. I'm a scout and I need some healin'
Jumping in circles around the medic makes it easy to heal you, so keep doing it, genius.

9. But I don't want to heal that dying medic on my team, I want points!
STFU. That medic will probably save your nub ass later.

10. I'm a spy, that medic shouldn't heal me!
Don't be a cloakhole, let them heal you until you are about to jump into action. That medic is probably are only healing you to not waste precious uber time and the extra life will probably help your nubness.

That's all for now, please add more so I can tell you if you are good at games.

<3 Twan

[WHAMbulance]

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS UNHOLY.

Stop making these.

[Knees of Justice]

I still can't tell if this is serious or not.

[youngandaspire]

only half

[jawsh]

1. TALK MAD SHIT ON EVERYONE
2. OCCASIONALLY RIGHT CLICK
3. REPEAT
4. FLEX

[duck]

guy will always be the best medic


In loving memory of Guy <3

[Ninja]

guy will always be the best medic


In loving memory of Guy <3

See if I heal you anymore >:O

[Techercizer]

guy will always be the best medic


In loving memory of Guy <3

This from the Black Box Soldier.

[duck]

See if I heal you anymore >:O

you almost never heal me

[
This from the Black Box Soldier.

get over it

[youngandaspire]

Hey duck, you should make the class stats ordered by assists + kills. Doesn't really make sense to rank medics by kills alone unless you change the name to battle medic.

(or you can let me do it, because that's what I do for a living)

Love,
Fellow Stat Whore

[Wakka]

medic stats

http://www.critsandvich.com/stats/hlsta ... ic&game=tf
http://www.critsandvich.com/stats/hlsta ... ed&game=tf
http://www.critsandvich.com/stats/hlsta ... sh&game=tf

[Argent]

medic stats

http://www.critsandvich.com/stats/hlsta ... ic&game=tf
http://www.critsandvich.com/stats/hlsta ... ed&game=tf
http://www.critsandvich.com/stats/hlsta ... sh&game=tf

Even beyond that, it should be ubercharges/kill assists/extinguishes per medic minute rather than total.

[Techercizer]

Wait, does he actually think he's the best Medic here? I thought he was just being cheekily facetious.

[Ackybur]

Who the hell is this?

[Maringue]

8. I'm a scout and I need some healin'
Jumping in circles around the medic makes it easy to heal you, so keep doing it, genius.

I love it when scouts do this. I know you have to have a serious case of ADHD to play scout, but when you are low on health and see a medic, STAND STILL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Also, on this point, if you are in a pack of teammates (usually around the cart) and are in dire need of healing, just step away from the crowd, you'll get your heals a lot faster.

If I had a dollar for every scout that bitched about me not healing them while double jumping in circles around me, I'd be typing on a much nicer computer.

[duck]

hey twan, you should just look at our other good medics.
tech
ninja
amplify
pikmin
guy
and many others

try and get to know the community better (i know you play on the westcoast box with myself and a few other regulars, but not many west box reg's are on the forums) and also you haven't been here long (though you do have nice medic hats)

also, i can't change hlstats. im only a pink admin, im not that important.

anyway i only play soldier and sniper really

[Mike808]

i remember when i was #1 medic on stats by a mile.

[youngandaspire]

Wait, does he actually think he's the best Medic here? I thought he was just being cheekily facetious.

Actually, if you look at the stats for assists per uber, technically I am. Though, I have off days.

[duck]

but hlstats is based off of a 28 day period. you haven't been with us for long (though you have allready donated, thanks for that ;D) for all time, you probably wouldnt be on the top ten (we did reset stats about 2 months ago so im basing my info on before we reset them)

[Techercizer]

but hlstats is based off of a 28 day period. you haven't been with us for long (though you have allready donated, thanks for that ;D) for all time, you probably wouldnt be on the top ten (we did reset stats about 2 months ago so im basing my info on before we reset them)

Right I haven't played TF2 in a month, so I'm not even in hlstatx. I don't know if Guy is either. Also, hard values like "most assists" or "most kills" reflect how often you play Medic much more than how well you play it, and ratios like assists/uber can be easily fixed by just not popping many ubers.

Sounds like OP jumped into the big boys' pool with his dick out; good thing we caught him here before he made a show of it.

[stanley]

Sounds like OP jumped into the big boys' pool with his dick out; good thing we caught him here before he made a show of it.

....good one

also, if you havent played tf2 in a month, you cant even judge him because you havent seem him play...

[youngandaspire]

What? The fact that I'm newer and am still #1 is better than if I were around the entire time...think about it.

I did some computations of my own and found that out of the people in the top 50 list for assists, ubers and kills here are the adjusted stats (I ignore quantities<top 50, so sue me):

(sorry, not using standard sized font so kinda ugly)

Name -------------------------------Kills--Assist--Extinguish--Uber--((Kills+Assist+Extinguish)/Uber)
Twan--------------------------------337---- 2016----745---- 539---- 5.747680890538
Starscream--------------------------74------556---- 108---- 132---- 5.5909090909091
CSn|LN NINJA Vampire----------------44------387---- 139---- 104---- 5.4807692307692
Plushy------------------------------51------747---- 240---- 192---- 5.40625
[Salty] Jackimus Prime--------------132---- 1495----541---- 403---- 5.3796526054591
CSn| Toby-------------------------- 46------440---- 169---- 122---- 5.3688524590164
bledswitch--------------------------0------ 368---- 146---- 96------5.3541666666667
CSn| Fence!------------------------ 96------518---- 160---- 145---- 5.3379310344828
Repair Man Man Man Man Man!....---- 206---- 956---- 387---- 309---- 5.0129449838188
Greta Garbo Garroting Gobshites---- 74------739---- 176---- 208---- 4.7548076923077
Jinkies!----------------------------0------ 411---- 140---- 122---- 4.516393442623
Hauptmann Hotpants!---------------- 100---- 361---- 164---- 140---- 4.4642857142857
CSn | Dominus---------------------- 89------1077----407---- 353---- 4.4560906515581
WHAMbulance------------------------ 0------ 440---- 205---- 148---- 4.3581081081081
Man-in-Combat---------------------- 0------ 518---- 115---- 147---- 4.3061224489796
Tobias------------------------------50------397---- 105---- 133---- 4.1503759398496
Havusin---------------------------- 278---- 1893----584---- 664---- 4.1490963855422
Bob Morane--------------------------0------ 481---- 153---- 154---- 4.1168831168831
Lightning Pawn----------------------0------ 332---- 100---- 106---- 4.0754716981132
McQ-------------------------------- 158---- 905---- 281---- 332---- 4.0481927710843
CSn| Wakka--------------------------61------434---- 223---- 179---- 4.0111731843575
Nef-------------------------------- 173---- 1729----740---- 669---- 3.949177877429
[MLP] RainbowDash------------------ 0------ 333---- 116---- 115---- 3.904347826087
Riku Yumegami---------------------- 43------686---- 200---- 242---- 3.8388429752066
Guan Yuber--------------------------40------374---- 0------ 110---- 3.7636363636364
Inko--------------------------------0------ 444---- 0------ 118---- 3.7627118644068
FarmerDopeMan---------------------- 0------ 334---- 126---- 127---- 3.6220472440945
Deep Fried Vetos--------------------58------370---- 0------ 123---- 3.479674796748
Meto--------------------------------59------1146----398---- 469---- 3.4179104477612
GeT-RiGhT-------------------------- 92------342---- 0------ 128---- 3.390625
Queesy------------------------------0------ 316---- 0------ 97------3.2577319587629
Heimlich Countermaneuver------------135---- 1920----834---- 895---- 3.2279329608939
S?lium------------------------------37------351---- 0------ 132---- 2.9393939393939
Guy-------------------------------- 78------451---- 224---- 279---- 2.6989247311828
putterran 9|HC----------------------0------ 339---- 0------ 127---- 2.6692913385827
Csn| Bob----------------------------84------0------ 130---- 111---- 1.9279279279279
P I K M I N------------------------ 53------0------ 100---- 98------1.5612244897959
Angry_Peasant---------------------- 72------0------ 0------ 111---- 0.64864864864865
Pietro Crespi ./Faith Healer--------58------0------ 0------ 106---- 0.54716981132075

=Twan

[Techercizer]

Sounds like OP jumped into the big boys' pool with his dick out; good thing we caught him here before he made a show of it.

....good one

also, if you havent played tf2 in a month, you cant even judge him because you havent seem him play...

No, I can't. I can make assumptions like crazy, though.

Modesty is the mark of true skill; if you actually are the best at something, you should never have to say it.

Massive, meaningless list of statistics

*facepalm*

[youngandaspire]

You're right I don't HAVE to say it, I just think it's funny to.

[youngandaspire]

You mad?

[Ackybur]

Kid calm down. I'm better than you and I'm not on that list, mainly because lists are too mainstream.

[youngandaspire]

...mainly because lists are too mainstream.

LOL

[duck]

i'd have to agree with ackbar, she is better than most at solder, sniper and medic (and i dont even play with her than often)

[Techercizer]

The sort of poor conduct and loose emotional control he's showing in this thread is way worse than the fact that he assumed he was the best in the server without even spending a few months to get to know the community. Being proud or presumptuous is unflattering but understandable, but antagonizing others is nowhere near as passive.

[duck]

The sort of poor conduct and loose emotional control he's showing in this thread is way worse than the fact that he assumed he was the best in the server without even spending a few months to get to know the community.

this is sad day

[Techercizer]

this is sad day

Why does your Steam say you're offline right now?

[duck]

im at school bro, its 3:05 here in the 907

[Techercizer]

im at school bro, its 3:05 here in the 907

You americans and your timezones...

[duck]

you canadians and your misuse of the letter a (i don't know if your canadian or not)

[Techercizer]

you canadians and your misuse of the letter a (i don't know if your canadian or not)

<3 you too duck.

[duck]

<3 you to tech, that doesnt answer whether you live in canada or not (though Alaskan's love Canadians, that must be why :O)

[duck]

anyway, lets get back on topic.
twan, a bad thing to do is run around these forums thinking your a big shot. get to know everyone (at least post an intro)
i still love you, and hope you will pocket me with your nice medic hats

[youngandaspire]

The sort of poor conduct and loose emotional control he's showing in this thread is way worse than the fact that he assumed he was the best in the server without even spending a few months to get to know the community. Being proud or presumptuous is unflattering but understandable, but antagonizing others is nowhere near as passive.

This was supposed to be a humorous post because I thought it was funny that I was #1, being that #1 was based on kills. Apparently my sarcasm wasn't as well perceived by some as I had hoped. I never said "best", you did. I just said "#1"--and I am. It's just science, brosif, so there's need to get upset about facts.

You seem mad about games, have you played any before? From where I'm sitting, you don't seem to know anything about the humor associated with them, and thus making baseless assumptions about who I am, what I mean and what I'm feeling.

=Twan

[Vetos]

This thread in a nutshell:

[Saber]

My two cents is that you made a reaaaaaaaaaaaally shitty first impression on us. Just saying.

[Wakka]

stats

so you die before you can uber more than everyone, cool

trollface.jpg

[WHAMbulance]

#1. No one gives a shit.
#2. No one gives a shit.
#3. It's TF2.
#4. No one gives a shit.

[youngandaspire]

Cool, glad to be in middle school again.

[Wakka]

From where I'm sitting, you don't seem to know anything about the humor associated with them,

looooooool

[stanley]

this entire thread is a joke, just stop, everyone

[Hauptmann_Hotpants(:]

i dislike medics who only heal 1 person, usually a heavy..which is why I tend to heal anyone who asks for a medic, but I dont pocket until Im confident that my 'patient' will do his/her job :3

[Mike808]

I agree with Techercizer 100%

this entire thread is a joke, just stop, everyone

Also, online sarcasm doesnt work.

[Phantom]

Not all of his points are that bad some are pretty good traits to have.

[duck]

Not all of his points are that bad some are pretty good traits to have.

true, but the thing is, that you shouldn't go around tooting your own horn saying "im better than you because i kill more people as medic" many of our medics in the community are very good, but they dont focus on killing.

take guy for instance, he heals everyone, he doesnt just pocket one person. he spy checks and does kill people when nessesary.

[stanley]

I agree with Techercizer 100%

this entire thread is a joke, just stop, everyone

Also, online sarcasm doesnt work.

that wasnt sarcasm....

[Techercizer]

If you guys don't let this damn thread die, I'm going to bump my guide back up to first page and keep it above this one to distract people from it.

Seriously. The thread is over. Everybody out. Call a cab if you're not good to drive. No drinks for the road.

[Mike808]

That wasn't directed to you buddy

[Techercizer]

I don't care what was or wasn't directed at me. This thread should not be at the top of the TF2 forums; it's a massive pile of drama that just won't sink down off the front page.

I shouldn't even be posting in it, and I wouldn't be if you guys didn't continue talking about it and bumping it so often.

[Mike808]

-,- i guess i pressed the wrong reply button on my phone.
my last message up there was to Stanley, not you tech.

/endthread for me

[Ackybur]

I don't care what was or wasn't directed at me. This thread should not be at the top of the TF2 forums; it's a massive pile of drama that just won't sink down off the front page.

I shouldn't even be posting in it, and I wouldn't be if you guys didn't continue talking about it and bumping it so often.