Dr. Turtle's Scattergun Name?

[VoltySquirrel]

Ok, so a sorta regular on the server Dr. Turtle has a scattergun needing a name. Already has a description (" What're you? President of my fan-club no... that would be your mother.") but it's in need of a name. He already has a template. Just fill in the blank with your idea. Why am I doing this instead of him? He couldn't figure out the forum. Anyway, the template is this: The President's Son's [insert witty comment here] Gun
Have at it

[rawkies]

The President's Son's Bottle O' Whine Gun

[Ackybur]

The presidents son's fancy fedora and cape combo.