Bad Sex Scene Awards 2016

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Bad Sex Scene Awards 2016

by flufffage » Fri Nov 18, 2016 11:15 am

https://literaryreview.co.uk/bad-sex-in-fiction-award
I am eager to see who the winner is.
The judges’ attention was particularly caught by several passages from Jonathan Safran Foer’s Here I Am, including lines such as:
‘He jerked off with the determination of someone within sight of Everest’s summit, having lost all his friends and Sherpas, having run out of supplemental oxygen, but preferring death to failure.’
However, these authors ultimately failed to make the grade.

Time to go to the library.
Last edited by flufffage on Tue Dec 06, 2016 6:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Bad Sex Scene Awards 2016

by Balubish » Fri Nov 18, 2016 1:51 pm

lol
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Re: Bad Sex Scene Awards 2016

by flufffage » Tue Dec 06, 2016 6:22 am

Nominees:
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My favorite thing is how My Immortal is literally better written sex than most of these...
“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.”
I mean, at least you know what the hell is going on.

Also, papayas???
Last edited by flufffage on Tue Dec 06, 2016 6:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Bad Sex Scene Awards 2016

by flufffage » Tue Dec 06, 2016 6:34 am

Winner winner penis dinner:

Winner of the 24th Bad Sex in Fiction Award
Erri De Luca has won the 24th annual delucaLiterary Review Bad Sex in Fiction Award for The Day Before Happiness (Allen Lane).
The award was announced at a lavish ceremony on Wednesday 30 November at the In & Out (Naval & Military) Club in St James’s Square, London, where the 400 guests raised a toast to the winner.
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The Corriere della Sera has hailed De Luca as ‘the writer of the decade’. He has won countless prizes, including, in 2013, the European Prize for Literature, presented to an author for a body of work ‘which best represents the cultural dimensions of Europe’. The judges of the Bad Sex in Fiction Award were swayed by a scene between the Neapolitan orphan protagonist and a mysterious woman he has watched from afar: ‘My prick was a plank stuck to her stomach. With a swerve of her hips, she turned me over and I was on top of her. She opened her legs, pulled up her dress and, holding my hips over her, pushed my prick against her opening. I was her plaything, which she moved around. Our sexes were ready, poised in expectation, barely touching each other: ballet dancers hovering en pointe.’

De Luca was unable to attend the ceremony and unavailable for comment. The judges said in a statement: ‘This adds a further accolade to De Luca’s already distinguished list of achievements. The winning entry is a reminder that, even in the wake of Brexit, Bad Sex knows no borders.’

The Day Before Happiness prevailed over fierce competition. The shortlist also included A Doubter’s Almanac by Iowa Writing Workshop teacher Ethan Canin (‘The act itself was fervent. Like a brisk tennis game or a summer track meet, something performed in daylight between competitors. The cheap mattress bounced’); Tom Connolly’s Men Like Air (‘Often she cooked exotic meals and put chillies or spices in her mouth while preparing the food and sucked him while the food cooked and then told him to fuck her while his manhood was burning rock-hard with fire.’); and The Butcher’s Hook, by former Blue Peter presenter Janet Ellis (‘I am pinned like wet washing with his peg’).
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Re: Bad Sex Scene Awards 2016

by Doctor Galaxy » Tue Dec 06, 2016 2:21 pm

I don't know what's worse, the fact that this exists or the fact that you kept up with it.

Also
flufffage wrote:Often she cooked exotic meals and put chillies or spices in her mouth while preparing the food and sucked him while the food cooked and then told him to fuck her while his manhood was burning rock-hard with fire.

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Re: Bad Sex Scene Awards 2016

by flufffage » Tue Dec 06, 2016 5:01 pm

Doctor Galaxy wrote:Image

My reaction exactly.

I keep up with it because I, too, am an aspiring author, and what better way to learn than from other people's mistakes?
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