Volty tells you if a movie sucks or not: Devil

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Volty tells you if a movie sucks or not: Devil

by VoltySquirrel » Sun Apr 03, 2011 9:31 pm

So, in the wake of the nonexistent blog where I posted my "forever gone" review of Tron: Legacy (long story shot, it sucked), I guess I'll just tell you how I fell about movies here. I got to be honest, watching movies here in Okinawa is kinda hard, since I'm either watching it at the base theater a month and half after it came out or I'm waiting on the DVD. Either way, I'm still going to tell you what I think. Most of these will be lesser known movies. I'm not going into detail about a movie you've already seen. So yeah, read my crap.

It really is shocking just how far M. Night Shamumalun has fallen. When he first burst onto the scene, he did it big. The 6th Sense was a truely great movie, with one of the best ending in cinematic history. He even show promise in his two subsequent films, Unbreakable and Signs. But after that, it just got bad. The Village was boring, Lady in the Water just a vehicle for Mmnight to promote himself (he plays a character who's writing will save the world. Really? Fuck you.), the Happening peaked at the ten minute mark and featured Marky Mark running away from the wind and talking to plants, and The Last Airbender single handedly took one of the best cartoon series of the last decade and made it unwatchable. At this point, the guy had to be humbled. He had flared out before his career really started to begin. And now, he made Devil, easily in the top 3 worst movies he's made.

For the uniformed, Devil is the first part in a planned trilogy of movied dubbed "The Night Chronicles". The concept for this one is, get this, that 5 people get onto a elevator, and one of them... is the devil. So, yeah. It's a 90 minute movie about a 5 annoying ass people that hate each other, while cops watching from a camera (and the audience) try to figure out who the devil is. How do they come to this conclusion? Why, a Mexican Catholic stereotype! Yeesh. You see, instead of having the people in the elevator "discover" one of the others is El Diablo, some guy who vaguely remembers a story his mother told him just come to the conclusion, "Hey, I know, Beelzebub!" *facepalm*

Well, there were some decent parts. The music is actually not bad, with some nice little touches here and there. The cinematography is, like in most M. Night's movies, really damn good. The upside down shot of Philly you see in the trailer is actually a nice sight, especially in HD. Still, there are some niggling issues with this movie, mainly the characters and convenient plot points.

None of the character get a decent backstory, except for the cop. The cop is probably the only character in the story who manages to get past the 1st dimension. They actually did have some planned scenes for the mechanic, old lady, and salesman, but those got cut in the theatrical release. Go figure. But really, they aren't need, as all their character traits can be explained in once sentence. I have never seen so many stereotypical characters NOT in a Michael Bay film. The people you actually want to know about, the people in the elevator, only get maybe 4 or 5 lines of dialogue explaining who they are and why they are being targeted by the devil. Oh wait, no I don't because I hate these people. I hate the old lady because she never talks. I hate the security guard because there just has to be a character with claustrophobia. I hate the mechanic because all he does is start shit. I hate the chick because all she does is bitch and moan. Most of all though, I hate the salesman. Why? Because he gets to have sex with Christina Hendricks, and that sucks for fans of Mad Men and Firefly everywhere.

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As a person with a y-chromosome, I have to hate any other person with a y-chromosome who gets to have sex with that.

Still, that even wouldn't have been TOO much of an issue if the actually plot was not littered with lapses in logic. You know how in a slasher flick, you're always yelling at the screen, telling the character to not go into the dark bedroom by themselves, but they do it anyway? Yeah, these people don't think like that. At least 2 people die because they did something so monumentally stupid you actually get stupider just watching it. They try to pull this cop out argument that the Devil doesn't like people interfering with his work, but really its just the writer thinking of something to get him out of the corner he's written himself into.

Shitty quality, I know.


Of course, if this movie was actually written well, trying to figure out who the guy is would be challenging, but no, its obvious. They still cheat, but you can pretty much call it halfway through. I'm not gonna tell, but it really is the easiest thing to decipher in this movie.

The film carries the same themes in Mmmnight's other films, like how were all connected and we all have a predetermined destiny and other spiritual bull, and the film gets down right preachy in the end. Now, to his credit, M. Night didn't actually write it or direct. Sure, he came up with the basic idea, but everything else was done by two other guys: John Erick Dowdle, who directed the equally bad Quarentine, and Brian Nelson, who has written the above par 30 Days of Night and the astoundingly good Hard Candy. So no, this movie doesn't suck because M. Night made it, it's because it's awful.

Still, if you've ran out of episodes of MST3K to watch and you want to try riffing on a movie yourself, Devil isn't a bad pick for it. There are several scenes that are so obnoxious that even Ed Wood would think you were pushing it. Other than that, skip it.
Last edited by VoltySquirrel on Mon Apr 04, 2011 2:22 am, edited 7 times in total.
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Re: Volty tells you if a movie sucks or not: Devil

by VoltySquirrel » Sun Apr 03, 2011 9:38 pm

Oh btw, I saw Religulous the other day on IFC (we get that channel here, which is awesome). It's a documentary by Bill Maher about his view on the various religions of the world and how he feels they are a detriment to society. Is it offensive if you are not of the 13% of people in the US who are atheist (may not be accurate, just going based off what I remember)? Maybe. Is it one sided? Hell yes. Is it one of the funniest movies of the last few years? Of course. I actually think it is more enjoyable if you are knowledgeable about the culture of one of the religions he talks about. For instance, I know Mormonism, so I laughed my ass off at some of the jokes he made because I knew first hand what the hell he was talking about.
Last edited by VoltySquirrel on Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Volty tells you if a movie sucks or not: Devil

by VoltySquirrel » Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:27 am

Bumppity bump bump, bump bump.
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Re: Volty tells you if a movie sucks or not: Devil

by Echoplex » Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:56 am

Nice job ;) I definitely didn't plan on seeing another M Night film after The Happening, but this sounds just as bad if not worse
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Re: Volty tells you if a movie sucks or not: Devil

by GoDM1N » Mon Apr 04, 2011 6:29 am

Big Bear wrote:Nice job ;) I definitely didn't plan on seeing another M Night film after The Happening, but this sounds just as bad if not worse

Yea that movie sucked lol.....


Anyway, meh I didn't think it was that bad for what it is. Every 'scary' movie sucks for the same reasons. You could simply replace the actors, title ect with any other scary movie and you'd have the same review. Personally I think if you want to do a review of a movie try doing one worth doing a review about, EG Sucker punch, Inception, Shutter Island ect
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Re: Volty tells you if a movie sucks or not: Devil

by doppelganger » Mon Apr 04, 2011 11:34 am

No offense, but I never had any intention of seeing that movie, lol. Not only am I not an m. night fan, but I can't imagine an hour and a half of people in an elevator. You should do like a monthly recommendation, where you recommend like 5 movies, give a mini review, maybe even throw in some def no sees.
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Re: Volty tells you if a movie sucks or not: Devil

by BoB Dolen » Mon Apr 04, 2011 11:38 am

GoDM1N wrote:
Big Bear wrote:Nice job ;) I definitely didn't plan on seeing another M Night film after The Happening, but this sounds just as bad if not worse

Yea that movie sucked lol.....


Anyway, meh I didn't think it was that bad for what it is. Every 'scary' movie sucks for the same reasons. You could simply replace the actors, title ect with any other scary movie and you'd have the same review. Personally I think if you want to do a review of a movie try doing one worth doing a review about, EG Sucker punch, Inception, Shutter Island ect


Truthfully, I'd only see sucker punch on the cheap all the movie has going for it are 3 action sequences that you see part of in the preview.\

I should right reviews since I pretty much get paid to watch movies but I'm to lazy to type it all out lol.
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Re: Volty tells you if a movie sucks or not: Devil

by Nikki Wolf » Mon Apr 04, 2011 11:55 am

I was thinking about seeing this movie when it was still in theaters. (since I had nothing else better to do during that time) Glad I skipped out. Shyamalan is just like Michael Bay nowadays.
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Re: Volty tells you if a movie sucks or not: Devil

by VoltySquirrel » Tue Apr 05, 2011 12:40 am

GoDM1N wrote:
Big Bear wrote:Nice job ;) I definitely didn't plan on seeing another M Night film after The Happening, but this sounds just as bad if not worse

Yea that movie sucked lol.....


Anyway, meh I didn't think it was that bad for what it is. Every 'scary' movie sucks for the same reasons. You could simply replace the actors, title ect with any other scary movie and you'd have the same review. Personally I think if you want to do a review of a movie try doing one worth doing a review about, EG Sucker punch, Inception, Shutter Island ect

Every movie is worthy of a review, because someone somewhere will go see a shitty movie without knowing if it is. And no, not every 'scary' movie sucks. The Exorcist, Japanese Ring, Silence of the Lambs, Aliens, the Thing, Predator, the list goes on. Even some slasher movies are great films, like Halloween and Nightmare of Elf Street.
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Re: Volty tells you if a movie sucks or not: Devil

by VoltySquirrel » Tue Apr 05, 2011 12:41 am

doppelganger wrote:No offense, but I never had any intention of seeing that movie, lol. Not only am I not an m. night fan, but I can't imagine an hour and a half of people in an elevator. You should do like a monthly recommendation, where you recommend like 5 movies, give a mini review, maybe even throw in some def no sees.

I'll do that. I did put a little mini-review of Religulous under the Devil one.
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Re: Volty tells you if a movie sucks or not: Devil

by doppelganger » Tue Apr 05, 2011 1:47 am

BoB Dolen wrote:
GoDM1N wrote:
Big Bear wrote:Nice job ;) I definitely didn't plan on seeing another M Night film after The Happening, but this sounds just as bad if not worse

Yea that movie sucked lol.....


Anyway, meh I didn't think it was that bad for what it is. Every 'scary' movie sucks for the same reasons. You could simply replace the actors, title ect with any other scary movie and you'd have the same review. Personally I think if you want to do a review of a movie try doing one worth doing a review about, EG Sucker punch, Inception, Shutter Island ect


Truthfully, I'd only see sucker punch on the cheap all the movie has going for it are 3 action sequences that you see part of in the preview.\

I should right reviews since I pretty much get paid to watch movies but I'm to lazy to type it all out lol.


But you forgot the most important part about the movie... it's directed by Zack Snyder.
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Re: Volty tells you if a movie sucks or not: Devil

by GoDM1N » Tue Apr 05, 2011 4:50 am

VoltySquirrel wrote:Every movie is worthy of a review

Lawlz no

And no, not every 'scary' movie sucks. The Exorcist, Japanese Ring, Silence of the Lambs, Aliens, the Thing, Predator,


None of those are scary movies, expect the Exorcist, which can be companied to Devil imo. Never saw Japanese Ring, so cant say. Silence of the Lambs wasn't scary, imo it was a interesting/mystery movie. Aliens and Predator were action movies, however Alien was a scary movie I guess, but again it could be compared to Devil.

Even some slasher movies are great films, like Halloween and Nightmare of Elf Street.

No, scary movies are the Call of duty of the movie industry.
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