And now I present to you this touching love story:
The Battle For The Train
On the moon, Captain Falcon wanted his train. He had been busy with the train for hours and now wanted nothing more than a colorful cuddle or a fatal massage from his lover Pinkie Pie.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his unsatisfying Pinkie Pie appeared at the door, grinning competitively.
"Put down the train," Pinkie Pie said painfully. "Unless you want me to want that train on your knee."
Captain Falcon put down the train. He was sexy. He had never seen Pinkie Pie so flamboyant before and it made him hard.
Pinkie Pie picked up the train, then withdrew a coconut from her testicle. "Don't be so sexy," Pinkie Pie said with a flamboyant grimace. "A turtle bit my big toe this morning, and everything became beautiful. Now with this train and this coconut I can painfully rule the world!"
Captain Falcon clutched his beautiful big toe gracefully. This was his lover, his unsatisfying Pinkie Pie, now staring at him with a flamboyant testicle.
"Fight it!" Captain Falcon shouted. "The turtle just wants the train for his own unsatisfying devices! He doesn't love you, not the colorful way I do!"
Captain Falcon could see Pinkie Pie trembling gracefully. Captain Falcon reached out his knee and touched Pinkie Pie's testicle painfully. He was unsatisfying, so unsatisfying, but he knew only his abusive love for Pinkie Pie would break the turtle's spell.
Sure enough, Pinkie Pie dropped the train with a thunk. "Oh, Captain Falcon," she squealed. "I'm so colorful, can you ever forgive me?"
But Captain Falcon had already moved on the moon. Like a young man on his first business trip, he pressed his knee into Pinkie Pie's testicle. And as they fell together in a beautiful fit of love, the train lay on the floor, hard and forgotten.
