People make me sick

[Ackybur]

http://m.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile/53099 ... l.html.csp


A good friend of mine died this morning and I'm disgusted with the filth we call a human race. If they never find the person, I hope he spends the rest of his life in a self inflicted purgatory... I think I'm even more disgusted with the person who knew about it. Tonight I went to his candle light vigil and the neighbor came outside to talk to the parents. She apologized that she never called it in when he was hit. She was awoken at 11:30 pm to a sound of a crash, looked outside and saw the car reverse and speed away. She saw him laying in the middle of the street but did nothing. She said, "I thought someone else would do it..or he would stand up. So I went back to bed". She only admitted this tonight and had called the police to describe the car to them. Alex had laid in the road suffering in 20 degree weather until someone came a long close to 2 am, and by that time he was already dead. It makes me wonder if he had a chance to live if the driver had admitted to their error and just pulled the fuck over to help him. A ticket on your record is nothing compared to a lost life.


This next example is not nearly on the same spectrum but it is just to show how useless we are as a race. Not too long ago I got home from work and the small dog above was hit hard by a driver. The teenager stopped, stuck her head out the open door, looked at me, and drove the hell off. The dog was laying on the ground with blood on the side of it's head. Three more cars just drove around him and didn't even give a second glance. So, I ran to my car, pulled out a blanket and wrapped him up taking him to the side of the road. He wasn't a bad dog, he just cried and licked my hand until animal control arrived. The dogs leg was fractured and had a small head wound. I know this story doesn't compare to the one above... I'm just utterly frustrated with who we are now.

We, as a race, are fucked. We have the generation that has babies at 12 years old, thinks they're gangbangers at the age of 8, and can't even find their own country on a map to lead us and take care of us in the coming decades. God help us.

/rant

[Saber]

You just ruined my day.

[LegendarySurgeon]

My sociology major girlfriend is now explaining the bystander effect and why I can't blame the old woman who didn't call it in.

[Ackybur]

My sociology major girlfriend is now explaining the bystander effect and why I can't blame the old woman who didn't call it in.

That would make sense if other people were around and your house wasn't the only one on the corner next to the incident.

[Phantom]

on a brighter note you should call up and check on the dog and idk if you want ask if you could keep him. i mean i dont know if you would want that but it would seem like a nice dog that could use a good owner.

[Mike808]

My sociology major girlfriend is now explaining the bystander effect and why I can't blame the old woman who didn't call it in.

bystander effect only applies if there is a group of people watching. the lady didnt see anyone else witness the event, so it doesnt apply.

[Ackybur]

on a brighter note you should call up and check on the dog and idk if you want ask if you could keep him. i mean i dont know if you would want that but it would seem like a nice dog that could use a good owner.

Sadly I can't keep him.. My roommate won't let me. I've helped find him a home with my coworker and she agreed to keep the name I kept calling him while I waited 2 hours for animal control. I call him Señor Carlito

[LegendarySurgeon]

My sociology major girlfriend is now explaining the bystander effect and why I can't blame the old woman who didn't call it in.

bystander effect only applies if there is a group of people watching. the lady didnt see anyone else witness the event, so it doesnt apply.

Apparently this is a common misconception; see the Murder of Kitty Genovese

Not to say that this isn't ridiculously tragic; rather the opposite: it sucks - people are wired that way and it's awful.

[Techercizer]

Was going to post about diffusion of responsibility, the bystander effect, and natural effects of the parasympathetic system on hit-and-run accidents, but Surgeon beat me to part of it.

At Acky: Of course diffusion of responsibility "applies" when people aren't standing in a group. It worked on the lady you talked to, and it's known to work in similar situations around the world. What she is describing is a textbook description of someone suffering it. If you feel like blaming her will make you feel better, then blame her because you feel bad, not because she did something you would have (with all likely psychological calculations) done in her place, or at the very least, that almost anyone else would have likely done in her place.

[Techercizer]

My sociology major girlfriend is now explaining the bystander effect and why I can't blame the old woman who didn't call it in.

bystander effect only applies if there is a group of people watching. the lady didnt see anyone else witness the event, so it doesnt apply.

Apparently this is a common misconception; see the Murder of Kitty Genovese

Not to say that this isn't ridiculously tragic; rather the opposite: it sucks - people are wired that way and it's awful.

Ah, now you've ninja'd me Surgeon. Also: parasympathetic nervous system.

[Ackybur]

My sociology major girlfriend is now explaining the bystander effect and why I can't blame the old woman who didn't call it in.

bystander effect only applies if there is a group of people watching. the lady didnt see anyone else witness the event, so it doesnt apply.

Apparently this is a common misconception; see the Murder of Kitty Genovese

Not to say that this isn't ridiculously tragic; rather the opposite: it sucks - people are wired that way and it's awful.

Right, but this murder was near or at an apartment complex no? This was in the suburbs...literally the one house there. The other three on the corners are vacant and up for sale.


To Tech, I do blame her. He died by bleeding out in the cold, he honestly could have been saved by one phone call. Hell she didn't even have to go out side and get her slippers wet from the snow. She's just a waste of air

[Techercizer]

Right, but this murder was near or at an apartment complex no? This was in the suburbs...literally the one house there. The other three on the corners are vacant and up for sale.


To Tech, I do blame her. He died by bleeding out in the cold, he honestly could have been saved by one phone call. Hell she didn't even have to go out side and get her slippers wet from the snow. She's just a waste of air

Again, it sounds to me like you're just saying that because you're grieving for your friend's death. What she did is what every psychologically normal human would have done. That doesn't make it right, and it doesn't justify your friend's death, but it does mean that blaming your neighbor's inaction is about as fair to them as blaming the person who invented the car. You don't need to be surrounded by apartments or smothered by people to experience diffusion of responsibility; it's a natural apathy that is built into the human social dynamic.

[Spyder]

Right, but this murder was near or at an apartment complex no? This was in the suburbs...literally the one house there. The other three on the corners are vacant and up for sale.


To Tech, I do blame her. He died by bleeding out in the cold, he honestly could have been saved by one phone call. Hell she didn't even have to go out side and get her slippers wet from the snow. She's just a waste of air

Again, it sounds to me like you're just saying that because you're grieving for your friend's death. What she did is what every psychologically normal human would have done. That doesn't make it right, and it doesn't justify your friend's death, but it does mean that blaming your neighbor's inaction is about as fair to them as blaming the person who invented the car. You don't need to be surrounded by apartments or smothered by people to experience diffusion of responsibility; it's a natural apathy that is built into the human social dynamic.

+1

It's like Mike McQueary and the Penn State scandal. People bitch that he did nothing, but what would have THEY done if they were in Mike's place? Probably the same thing.

[LegendarySurgeon]

Again, it sounds to me like you're just saying that because you're grieving for your friend's death. What she did is what every psychologically normal human would have done.

I think part of Acky's point is FUCK the psychologically normal humans.

[Ackybur]

You're both right, I am upset. I'm upset that it's sounding more socially acceptable to pass the buck. I'm upset because no one does the right thing. Im upset to know that this person who is ok to leave a man bleeding in the street, most likely won't come forward. You both have to agree that we are a little screwed when we as individuals won't rise to the occasion because "someone else can do it".


Edit: how is this normal? I know I wouldn't leave it to others. I've stepped in on a few domestic disputes on people I don't know and have taken animals off the freeway countless times.

[Techercizer]

Edit: how is this normal? I know I wouldn't leave it to others. I've stepped in on a few domestic disputes on people I don't know and have taken animals off the freeway countless times.

Normal, within the context of psychological discussion, "corresponding to social norms". It's not right to stand by when someone is in trouble. It's not just to wait at your window hoping that someone else will step forward, but the collective body of psychological studies show that the behavioral norm in those situations is to do just that. Stepping into other people's disputes is an example of a behavior that violates social norms, and would thus be considered abnormal.

I don't think anyone's saying what happened to your friend was right, or that it was anything less than a horrible, heartbreaking situation. We're just asking you to try not an blame your neighbor personally. After all, she probably feels terrible about the whole incident too; she might even be blaming herself, with nobody around able or willing to tell her that she made a common (tragic, definitely, but all too common) mistake.

And if blaming your neighbor helps you deal with your grief, none of us has the right to tell you to handle it any other way. All we can be ask is that you be conscious of your coping methods, so that you might have the freedom (what little freedom there is to be had in trying to deal with the death of someone close to you) to pursue it of your own informed choice.

[Hauptmann_Hotpants(:]

To Tech, I do blame her. He died by bleeding out in the cold, he honestly could have been saved by one phone call. Hell she didn't even have to go out side and get her slippers wet from the snow. She's just a waste of air

Im so sorry for your loss Ackybur :c
And Im with you on that dude..that stupid, ignorant woman could have probably saved him.

It wouldnt have taken her more than 5 fucking minutes to call for help. Ignorance is no excuse to leave someone outside in the street in near-freezing weather, after seeing that car pull away and escape.
Why do people use that same stupid excuse "I thought someone else was gonna do that" or "I thought he was okay and was gonna get up"? Is it only because he wasn't close to her that she ignored him?

Humanity's gone to shit already, let's face it.
We cant even look out for one another anymore.. :/

[Ackybur]

To Tech, I do blame her. He died by bleeding out in the cold, he honestly could have been saved by one phone call. Hell she didn't even have to go out side and get her slippers wet from the snow. She's just a waste of air

Im so sorry for your loss Ackybur :c
And Im with you on that dude..that stupid, ignorant woman could have probably saved him.

It wouldnt have taken her more than 5 fucking minutes to call for help. Ignorance is no excuse to leave someone outside in the street in near-freezing weather, after seeing that car pull away and escape.
Why do people use that same stupid excuse "I thought someone else was gonna do that" or "I thought he was okay and was gonna get up"? Is it only because he wasn't close to her that she ignored him?

Humanity's gone to shit already, let's face it.
We cant even look out for one another anymore.. :/

This is my thought. Tech, you can play the devils advocate all you want and bring in the heartless logic that may apply to you, but maybe keep your science out of something that hits close to home. I understand the human mind is more complicated and more self serving then I like to believe, but now is not the time. I wouldn't post in your thread of your mom having cancer saying, " that's sad, but if she made these diet changes...." etc. Just let me be mad at this lady I'll never meet again

[Chocolate Love God]

It's a shame when things like that happen, and even worse to see that selflessness is an often missed value. I'm one of the few combat life saver's in my platoon, and there's a lot of rules on when to treat someone depending on the situation with the enemy. But I can guarantee that if breaking the rules means saving someone, there isn't a single person who's qualified that wouldn't do it. I just don't see how people would skip on the opportunity to help.

[duck]

im sorry for your loss ackbar.

though you may be mad just look at it from the womans perspective. she probably was extemely scared, when people are scared (same with angry people) they tend to make irrational decisions. this happens all over the world and its just a reaction to the situation, though it may be the difference between life or death.

this woman almost disproved the bystander effect, which as allready been explained, because when there is only one person to witness something happen they are more likely to help than if there were 5000 people witnessing it.

one example is when man was stabbed in newyork while helping a woman get away from a robber, he laid on the sidewalk for hour on end and 40 people passed him, one person took a picture and one person picked him up, only to see blood and run away. he died that morning, do you think those people are bad?

the woman who killed your friend isn't a bad person, it was an accident, people make mistakes and i understand why you'd be angry, again im sorry for your loss.

[Ackybur]

im sorry for your loss ackbar.

though you may be mad just look at it from the womans perspective. she probably was extemely scared, when people are scared (same with angry people) they tend to make irrational decisions. this happens all over the world and its just a reaction to the situation, though it may be the difference between life or death.

this woman almost disproved the bystander effect, which as allready been explained, because when there is only one person to witness something happen they are more likely to help than if there were 5000 people witnessing it.

one example is when man was stabbed in newyork while helping a woman get away from a robber, he laid on the sidewalk for hour on end and 40 people passed him, one person took a picture and one person picked him up, only to see blood and run away. he died that morning, do you think those people are bad?

the woman who killed your friend isn't a bad person, it was an accident, people make mistakes and i understand why you'd be angry, again im sorry for your loss.

The woman didn't kill my friend. The person who hit him and drove off did. The woman could have saved my friend.

[Bullet Whiz]

Well its safe to say that the Human Race is almost completely fucked. I'm sorry for your loss but people these day are completely insane no one cares about anything but themselves almost incapable of doing anything not for themselves. I hope your friends killer is brought to justice. I really hate I have a long life ahead in which I have to deal with people like this.

[duck]

k, sorry for misunderstanding.

[Ackybur]

Well its safe to say that the Human Race is almost completely fucked. I'm sorry for your loss but people these day are completely insane no one cares about anything but themselves almost incapable of doing anything not for themselves. I hope your friends killer is brought to justice. I really hate I have a long life ahead in which I have to deal with people like this.

Update on this. He turned himself in today after his family threatened to do it themselves. They were suspicious when he fixed his cars windshield the next day...Talk about empathy right? People are saying to go easy on him since he did eventually fess up to it. But, let's be honest, if you repair your car you're not looking to go to jail/ be deported (turns out he's illegal). Fucking chance at a greencard is more important than a human life.

[medkitz]

I hope justice is rightfully served.

[megamoose]

Ackybur, you almost made me cry for the second story. For the first story, humans are fucked up and I'm sorry for what happened. May G-d rest in peace with Alex. For the dog, hopefully no badass comes near him.

[BoB Dolen]

Well its safe to say that the Human Race is almost completely fucked. I'm sorry for your loss but people these day are completely insane no one cares about anything but themselves almost incapable of doing anything not for themselves. I hope your friends killer is brought to justice. I really hate I have a long life ahead in which I have to deal with people like this.

I beg to differ on the human race, culture plays a part.

Look at Japan